A good laugh for your weekend!

7 years, 10 months ago 12

 

 

My brother-in-law Ron sent this to me, it is just too good.  Sherlene and I have gone over these about thousand times in 47 years of marriage!  I love her deeply, but she and few women either understand this or abide by them, but for what it’s worth try it out on your wife, or girlfriend!

Good Luck!

 

 

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

 

Finally, the guys’ side of the story.

( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)

We always hear ‘the rules’

From the female side 

 

 

  Now here are the rules from the male side.  

 

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered ‘1 ‘

ON PURPOSE! 

 

 

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down..

We need it up, you need it down.

You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon

or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

 

 

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.

Don’t ask us.

 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the   other one 

 

1. You can either ask us to do something

or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched..

We do that.

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ We will act like nothing’s wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really. 

 

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports.

 

 

1. You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

 

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

 

But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

 

Have a great weekend!

 

Blessings,

 

the pilgrim

12 Responses

  1. Casey says:

    Bill, neither of us is brave enough to even think of enforcing these rules. But it doesn’t s nice to dream! Have a blessed weekend.

  2. Eric Wojtkun says:

    Oh the exercise I will get after I share them with my wife…

    At least after 18 years (on Monday) I know how to Duck!

    Eric

  3. Some truth to that.

    I knew from day one I married Ms. Right. I didn’t know her middle name was Always!

  4. John Gompf says:

    Love it. I always tell my wife and the women I work with I am not a mind reader. I also tell the I am a man and I will disappoint you at some point.

  5. admin says:

    I say the same thing, but I don’t add “AT SOME POINT”

  6. Waxing serious for a moment, I’m often asked if my wife does (or why doesn’t she) accompany me on photo trips. The answer is that the idea of getting up way before sunrise to travel to, say, the Ox, or being out past sunrise and then repeating the same thing the next day just does not appeal to someone who thinks “vacation” means sleeping in. That said, in addition to non-photo trips, I try to find at least one or two places a year where we can combine the best of both worlds. For example, we went to Cumberland Falls for sunset and dinner and then spent the night in Corbin. She slept in the next morning when I did sunrise shooting and then we went to Berea and spent the night at the Boone Tavern Inn before hitting quilt shops along the way to Louisville and catching a show at the Kentucky Center and spending the night there before flying home. Portland and Seattle are also good for “combined” trips (especially Portland).

  7. Tim L says:

    LOL. This is a good list. 🙂