Taking a break from civility

Those of you that come here often know that I’m a pretty calm, forgiving, and kind guy. If you’ve not been here before, please wait until Monday to read this blog. Today I’m going to rant and rant real good. I met a wonderful couple at WPPI that read this blog and they said they enjoyed when I ranted, that they often agreed. So I’m going to take that as permission to let it rip. *Note at the end of this I will have an apology.

I hate flying on commercial airplanes.

Sometimes it’s not so bad, some times it’s just awful, this morning it was awful. No, no turbulence,
but the rest of what bothers me came in spades on the way from Las Vegas to Atlanta.

Here’s my list:

1. Airplanes need to be bigger or passengers smaller. I’m learning to eat healthy and I’m glad I am, and I was way too heavy, for way too lang, BUT, I’m sick of sitting next to people that take all of their seats and then spill over into my space. It’s even worse when they “spread out” and use their shoulders and elbows to “clear out” the space they wanted, but don’t have. I’m tired of getting somewhere after a 4 hour flight and having a back ache from leaning into the isle to try to give them some of the space I paid for.
2. Speaking of leaning into the isle, refreshment carts should have big red and yellow stickers on
them that say, “ CAUTION -Lethal Weapon”. Have you ever had a flight attendant ram your
elbow or shoulder with one? Trust me it hurts, and I have a sneaking suspicion that if they are
not having a very good day, they love it.
1. Speaking of flight attendants, I remember when they were all beautiful young women with
winning smiles and great attitudes. I’m not saying that none of them meet that description, but
more and more of them look, and act like the wicked witch of the north. Seniority at work……
1. If our Federal Government is going to ride us like rented mules over every little thing we have in
our suitcases, maybe they could pass a rule that says that anyone getting on a plane has to
brush their teeth or their hair, preferably both. It should also me a Federal Mandate that a
shower must be taken at least within 6 hours of a flight and a fresh application of deodorant.
1. How about everyone abides by the same rules. Every time I let my seat back to relax before taking off, a grandmotherly flight attendant raps me on the head with a ruler and barks, “get your seat back forward until after take off!” This morning a very large man in front of me leaned his seat all the way into my lap as soon as he set down and it stayed like that until we landed in Atlanta. I could have easily shampooed his hair, and should have.
2. I’ve got a good suggestion, if a Flight Attendant has a posterior only 3 inches less wide than
the aisle of the plane, they should give them an office job. They can’t be gaining that weight on
what they offer us! I opened a small bag of pretzels today and 5 fell out the size of BBs.
1. In the rare event that you did get a young, very attractive, Flight Attendant, I suggest they have
their compact and mirror confiscated so they might realize there are actually passengers on
the plane, that are not wearing pilots uniforms!
1. On conduct; any flight attendant that is rude to a passenger, without provocation, should have to exit the plane, regardless of altitude.

The New Rule Book for the Flying Public
By me, so obviously no one has to follow it, but it sure would be great if they did.

All passengers should have to be required to wear shirts, shoes and socks. Dress should be somewhere North of the people you see on the website, the people of Walmart.

When waiting to board a plane you stand in a line, you stay behind the person in front of you and
in front of the person behind you, you don’t step in front of others, you never cut the line. No matter how important you think you are, if you want to get on the plane first in your zone, get to the front of the line early and save your position. People who break this rule should be invited to inspect the jet engines as they start them up.

If you talk on your cell phone in the gate area, or on the plane before the door closes you should do so in a low voice. Talking loudly about how important you are, and how many people you can direct to follow your orders is irritating to others, who, by the way, are not that interested in your life anyway.

When boarding a plane try not to seriously injure someone with your backpack, purse, or computer bag, as you proceed through the plane to your seat. I swear some of those people have bowling balls in their shoulder bags.

Once at your seat, get things put away quickly, and then sit down and get out of the way, however if someone in front of you fails to keep this rule, don’t act like a jack wagon and show your irritation at that person. Trust me, you’ve done something just as egregious yourself, probably today.

When the plane lands, it unloads from the front to the back, jumping up and trying to get off in front of people in front of you on the plane is never acceptable unless you are late for your next flight and you have informed the flight attendant that you must rush. She will see that you can rush off.

When collecting your luggage at Baggage Claim, try not to knock people down when you attempt to take your suit case off the conveyer and can’t control it.

O.K. Having said all of that, thanks, so much, to the good flight attendants that have made my days better, the wonderful pilots that have never failed to get me safely to my destination! To all the airline people that make my great flights, great, thank you.

You want to hear something really funny, I thought all of this while wearing my favorite T-shirt today. A Life is Good shirt that shows a glass filled mid way, the slogan says, “Half Full”
go figure………..

This all proves one thing, we can be filled with Christ and not act very much like Him. I will
try to do better tomorrow.

the pilgrim

Friday Weigh in: Down two more pounds, 219, down from start 239.