First let me apologize for being so long bringing you an update, a lot has happened in last two weeks!!  Today is the first time I have made it upstairs to my computer in two weeks.  Let me run you all through what has transpired over that time period.  

 

Monday, May 8th:  I had my TAVR, (Trans Aortic Valve Replacement),  the surgery went well and the valve was replaced and was performing as expected.   My Surgeon, Dr. Anthony Rogers and my Cardiologist. Dr. Paula Hollingsworth did a great job!  I was released to go home just one day after the surgery.  I rested and recovered most of that week, feeling better each day.

 

Sunday, May 14th (Mother’s Day):  I started to have some episodes of AFib where my heart rate was running from very slow to very fast.  Sherelene insisted I go to the emergency room, but I resisted, not wanting to go back in the hospital.  She kept insisting and I kept resisting, then she talked me into getting the car to drive that direction.  I told her if I had one more almost fainting episode we could to the ER.  I had no more than said that when I almost blacked out, in minutes I was in the ER.  Within minutes of arriving there I coded and was without a heartbeat for a four to five seconds.  They did chest compressions and had me back in this world quickly. Had I not listened to Sherelene I might have died at home on Sunday!  About fifteen minutes later I coded a second time with the same response.  At this point they called for an air vac and flew me to Lexington Baptist Heart Center where Dr. Rogers was waiting for me.  I coded a third time in Lexington in the Heart ICU, then they started a drip of a medication that stabilized my heart rate and observed me in the ICU overnight.  The next morning, Monday, they did a procedure to place a pacemaker in my chest, further stabilizing the afib.  I was released to come home on Wednesday.  I’ve now been home recovering since then.  Until today, Saturday the 20th.  I’ve been struggling through broken or cracked ribs from the chest compressions, (no complaints, they brought me back from death three times).  

 

Today. May 20th:  is my best day yet as I can walk around without help, even climbed the stairs to the office to do this entry!  My heart rate has remained stable and my surgery sites are all healing very well!

 

So some Perspective on all this:

 

In my entire life I have had two pivotal “Physical Events” the have shaped my life.   42 years ago when I was told I had terminal cancer and thought I had only a few months to live.  You’ve all heard that story.  And, last weekend when I died three times, only to be brought back each time.

 

42 years ago my entire perspective on what is important in life was changed and it forever re-directed me in my desires, goals and purpose.  This week has deepened the commitment I made back then.  Back then I gave my life and heart completely to God and vowed to serve him “every moment for the rest of my life”.    This week I remembered how precious this life is, the family and dear friends that God has so graciously given me, and of whom I am unworthy, but still thankful for that gift.  I now have  redirected my goals to listen for God’s voice and be obedient to whatever he asks of me.  I think I was already doing that, but my attention has been more laser focused on His will.

 

God deals with each of us where we are and in the way we need to be spoken to, I’m not beating you up with what I have gone through, only sharing where it has brought me.  I have no idea whether I’ve been given a few weeks, months or years to live for Him, but whatever time I have it is His!  I do know that he loves you more than you know and He wants you to belong to Him, I can only pray that everyone who reads this gives thought to where they want their spirit to reside,  I hope it is with my loving, caring, gracious and forgiving Heavenly Father.

 

For all of you that have payed for me, thank you, I will be forever grateful for another chance at this life!

 

With all His love,

 

 

the pilgrim

 

Note: A special thanks to my dear brother and friend Jack Graham who has stayed with me at home the last three days,  you’ve aided in my healing my friend!  To my best friend, partner and love of my life, Sherelene. your tireless efforts to watch over me are beyond what anyone could ever deserve, I Love you and want to live on for you!

 

On Monday the 8th of May I’m having a medical procedure to place a new valve in my heart.  It is quite miraculous how this will be done.  Years ago I did a lot of medical photographs including a number of surgical procedures.  I’ve photographed the conventional way of replacing a heart valve which is very interesting and invasive.  The surgeon and team would open the chest remove a couple of ribs, then the vascular system is hooked up to a pump system that acts as the heart for the patient, then the heart is stopped and a new valve is surgically placed, the heart is sewn up, and then restarted so the pump can be removed.  This is a long and precise process.  The recovery takes time and eventually the patient enjoys a better life with a properly functioning heart. (* Note to medical folks whom may read this, this is my very rudimentary understanding of what I photographed!  Be kind, I’m not a doctor!)

 

The procedure I will be having is not nearly as invasive, it’s called a TAVR.  In it they will go though my femoral arteries in the groin much like in a heart cath and will then insert a new valve in the aortic valve and inflate it.  The procedure takes about 45 minutes and most patient go home the next day!  Pretty miraculous!  Are there risks, sure, you undergo general anesthesia which has risks, the procedure can lead to problems, but the % of patients that die during the procedure is 1%.  I’ll take those odds.

 

So am I worried?  No, this is the point to the blog entry.  I’m 77 yers old, I’ve already lived past my life expectancy.  When I gave my life to Jesus and my Heavenly Father, I trusted them with every aspect of my life.  If God wants me to come home, all the best doctors in the world can’t keep me here, if he wants me to live to serve Him longer, no one can take my life away from Him, He is in charge.  I don’t like going to the hospital and being treated for anything, but I trust Him.  If I have a very successful procedure I should feel better and have a better quality of life for how ever long God keeps me here, if I die the table, I’ll be home with my Lord and so many loved ones I have lost that are there with Him, I can’t loose either way.

 

Remember we are in this world, not of it, we can’t get too attached to things of this world, our real home, if we have trusted in Him, is not here.  That is why years ago when I started the blog I chose to call my self the Pilgrim, I’m just passing through this land!  I hope to write another blog entry next week when I return home, but as I end every prayer, Father, may Your will be done.

 

I pray you be blessed,

 

 

the  pilgrim

 

A few years ago the Southwest Photojournalism Conference held in Nashville awarded Charles a lifetime achievement award for his contribution to the practice of photography as a ministry.  Above Country Music Hall of Fame Performer, Ricky Skaggs presents the award to Charles.

 

 

Charles over his career as photographer shot with Nikon, Hasselblad, Fujifilm and Leica cameras.  Above siting his kitchen he photographed me with his Leica, while I photographed him!

 

 

This is the young Dr. Charles Stanley that I met over 30 years ago, Shot in the Grand Tetons National Park.

 

 

While running a workshop in the Grand Tetons I was  joined by left to right; Dr. Chuck Summers, the Pilgrim, Charles and Ken Jenkins, all dear brothers and friends!

 

Thank you Charles for all the great memories and time together, I look forward to hugging you in heaven, one of these days!

 

Blessings,

 

 

the pilgrim

 

On one of my many trips down to Charles house in Atlanta, someone shot this image of us together in his Darkroom/equipment room. It now proudly hangs on the wall of my home office. I learned so much from Charles in our many conversations, from his sermons and his books.  I wanted to share a few of those lessons that have been life changing for me, I pray they will be for you too!

 

1.  Focus on what God has blessed you with instead of desiring more.  This lesson came on an occasion when I was frustrated about the  financial success of another photographer who was not a Christian.  I fell into the place of feeling God was not blessing me enough.  I’m very ashamed to admit that I was thinking that way, but truth is I was.

I went to Charles and shared my frustration and asked him what I should do.  He said he understood what I was feeling but he had a prayer that would solve my issue.  I foolishly said tell me what it is,  he said it’s very simple, ask God to give you what you deserve.  I immediately knew I was sure I didn’t want to pray for that!  Charles then said may I ask you a few questions, i said of course;

He asked me if I was married and if I loved my wife?  I said yes very much (and he knew the answer to all these questions!}

Do you’ve children, are they healthy?

Let’s see if I remember this right he said, what you do for a living is go to all the most beautiful places and the best times to be there and photograph, right?

Now Bill, how many times have you gone bankrupt?  After a half dozen more questions that pointed out just how blessed I was,  he said let me ask you this, what more do you want God to do for you than he has already done?

 

I said, I’m sorry I bothered you with this question.

 

2.  Give all your cares, concerns and desire to God and then trust Him with the results.  Charles was adament that God desired the best for you, and we can leave it all in His hands.

 

3.  Instead of telling God your plans, as Him what His plans are for you and then follow them.  He once told me if you want to make God smile, tell Him your plans!

 

4.  Seek your Joy in the Lord, you will not find it any place else.  We are to be in this world, but not of it!

 

5.  Know that you are a sinner and undeserving of God’s Grace. love and forgiveness!  We cannot earn His Grace, it is a gift freely given, but we must accept it and Him.

 

6.  Seek first Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you, even the desires of your heart.  Don’t seek your desires, seek God and he will change your desires to match His for you and only then can He bless you with those desires he knows will bring you the greatest blessings!

 

7.  Forgiveness is the key to freedom.  Until we can forgive we can never have the peace of God!

 

8.  This is how to live:  Make it your goal and desire to leave others better off than before they met you.

 

9.  Always keep your motives pure!  Some years ago while visiting Charles sitting at his big round kitchen table he pushed legal pad and a pen across the table to me.  He said. “go down to my equipment room and list all the gear of mine that you want me to leave to you someday.” Charles had a vast collection of cameras and lenses from several different manufacturers.  I pushed the legal pad back to him and said, I don’t want anything.  He persisted to say he really wanted to do this more me.  I said Charles, “I have only wanted your friendship, and I will never do anything that would allow you to ever think that my friendship had anything to do with what I could gain from it, materially.”  That kept our relationship clean and clear of that!

 

Charles taught me through the example of his life that what we say we believe only has God’s power if we really believe it and live it.  I have tried to follow that principle.  I’m thankful for all I learned from him.

 

Blessings,

 

the pilgrim