Daily Archives: September 15, 2014

 

As many of you that frequent the blog know, I love football, and I’ve been in heaven with both the college and the NFL back in session!  Yesterday all the pregame shows were a series of football announcers and former players gnashing their teeth over the awful week the NFL experienced with all the scandals.  I fully agree with the sentiments of how awful these events are, but I don’t think it is indicative of just football players. Because these are public figures like actors, singers, politicians, and on and on, the reporting of their actions has a bigger stage to play out on.  So, what is the solution?  Sherelene and I reared three children, and on countless occasions we had to “attempt” to modify their behavior from what we knew was wrong or dangerous for them.  Of course it was easy, all we had to do was explain to them why they should behave, and they straightened right up!!!  Yeah, right!!!!!!  Human behavior is not so easy to control.  But, where do we start?

 

If I may, let’s pretend that the commissioner of the NFL, knowing what a knowledgeable person I am about conflict, called me and asked me to talk with, (I’ll just pick one), Ray Rice, and then come back to him with recommendations on what to do next.  Of course fat chance of that happening, but I’ll play along since this was my idea in the first place……

 

Step One:  Meet with Ray Rice and his wife.  I would seek to determine where they are in their relationship.  Have they dealt with the abuse, has their been forgiveness, and does Ray realize how wrong he was, and has asked her for forgiveness, sought help to avoid anything like that ever happening again, and have they placed their relationship, and marriage in God’s hands?  I would try to help Ray understand that his actions may cost him his football career if the NFL so decides.  I would encourage them to start fresh. depending on each other, and God to meet their needs.

 

Step Two: I would meet with the commissioner and suggest that the NFL have a policy of complete honesty, and openness about such matters.  I would further suggest that their be a strict policy of player conduct and it be levied fairly and with full transparency.  I would suggest a policy that made it clear that the league would be firm, but fair, in dealing with misconduct of the players and coaches.

 

Step Three:  I would suggest that all parties, including the public, stand ready, when it has been proven that the offending parties are sincerely re-pendent, that forgiveness be offered.  This is the toughest one.  If every member of society was a follower of Jesus Christ and truly seeking to live a redeemed life, and had experienced His forgiving love, it would be easy.  But many people have great difficulty in forgiving others, mostly because they can’t forgive themselves. Forgiveness is something you have to know you’ve been offered, before you can offer it to another.  Sadly many in society protect themselves from self loathing by taking delight in seeing how imperfect others are.   It’s easy to do, we are all very imperfect, but comparing my sin to someone else’s does little for me, and nothing for them.  The biblical plan for dealing with sin is;  (a) admit it, (b) acknowledge it’s reality, (c) repent (be truly deeply sorry),  (d) ask forgiveness,  (e) accept forgiveness, (f) forgive yourself, and  (g) seek to walk a different path.  All of this is possible, all of this can be accomplished, but only after we face the fact that we are wrong, we’ve hurt others with our actions and words, and are willing to face the truth.

 

It doesn’t make me angry to see people seething with hate for Ray Rice, it hurts me.  What Ray did was wrong, very wrong.  I hate his “actions”, but I love him.  He is one of God’s children, just like you and I!  Before you react to that, think about this; if you had done something very wrong and the world knew about it, and you were truly sorry, had confessed the sin you had committed, and were seeking to make things right, how would you want others to respond to you?  I bet you would humbly hope for forgiveness!   Those that can’t, need to examine their own hearts!

 

Is it hard?   You bet, but when Jesus (the Son of God), was beaten, mocked, tortured and then nailed on a cross and left to die there,  He looked down and said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

 

Forgiveness is not an option, it’s the only path that leads forward.

 

Blessings,

 

the pilgrim