Daily Archives: October 18, 2012

7 years, 4 months ago 11

It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder, I’m not sure  how it works for others but it sure works on me! When I go out speaking around the country, I often remark about how much in love I am after 43 years of marriage! On one occasion my bride was with me, and a woman from the audience asked Sherelene how that was possible, she answered, “Well, he has only been home 15 of the 43 years!”  We all got a good laugh but it was pretty accurate. I know that being away a lot makes it fresh when I get home, but my love and respect for my wife goes a lot deeper than that.  Now before I start please know I’m not just bragging, o.k. well a little, but I really do want to address this to the men out there, I want to share about how to keep that love alive and well in a relationship.


Let me start by saying that I not only love my wife, my bride, my girl friend, my best friend, (yes, they are all the same person!!!), I also admire and respect her.  Let me start there.


Sherelene is amazing, she is a great mother, a wonderful grandmother, a spectacular wife, an accomplished Nurse Practitioner, a caring person, a real witness of her faith, and a classy, beautiful woman.  *Time out, I know you are wondering how on earth I landed a gal like this, well for one thing, I’ve never let her get her eyes checked and gotten glasses!!!   Sherelene is my best friend my most trusted compatriot, and the person I love to have time with more than anyone else!  She has given me a wonderful family, and we are enjoying them immensely, together!


O.K. How do you keep love alive.  First, it helps to have someone like Sherelene who makes all my efforts a labor of love!  May I make a few suggestions?


1.  Never stop dating your spouse!  When you first met, you went out of your way to impress her, and do things you think she might love!  Don’t stop.  I buy Sherelene fresh flowers every week I’m home.  I take her out to dinner as often as possible, I even take out the trash, and straighten up around home before she get home from work.  I make it a point to know what she values and act on it!


2. Listen to her.  When she wants to share about work, or ask advice, I stop what I’m doing, (for me this is really hard, it’s a learning process), and truly listen and try to respond in a thoughtful and honest way.


3.  Study the word, and pray together.  We lift up our needs, our family and friends, and we spent a lot of time praising God for His Goodness and countless blessings!


4.  Try to get away for weekends and vacations as often as your schedules permits.  We try to make those trips personal time to just catch up, and get re-connected.


5.  I ask her to critique my images.  She is one of the few people that will tell me the truth, and when she says she really likes an image I know it’s good, because she is a very astute visual person and very good photographer herself.  Best of all she won’t try to pull the wool over my eyes or brag when it’s not deserved!  She’s not harsh, but i can count on her judgement!


6.  Never stopped romancing her.  I treat Sherelene just like the girl who’s heart I had hoped to win so many years ago.


Men, keep your bride happy, make sure she knows how much you appreciate her and how far you will go to protect her and take care of her!!  Not because I said it, but because of what Paul told us in Ephesians!


Ephesians 5:25-27

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.


Do these things, and reap one of God’s greatest gifts, a wonderful marriage and life long friendship!


Be blessed,


the pilgrim